Do The Work

(Note: this post is the second on a three -part series about getting HR Pros interested in social media.)

Cliche # 2: “People may not remember what you say, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.”

So since everyone is sharing where they were on September 11, 2001, I’ll do the same.  On that day, I was at a Hilton outside Dallas, Texas, beginning a week of management seminars for leaders in the local Mental Health and Mental Retardation system. I had taught this seminar way too many times and, frankly, was prepared for a week of boredom. We had just begun discussing, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” when pagers started buzzing and class members started drifting from the room. A couple of minutes later, we took a break and headed for the lobby TVs. Like so many, I watched as the second tower fell, surrounded by strangers who suddenly felt like friends.

I chose to reconvene the class, and press on.  Dallas is a long, long way from the East Coast, and none of the participants had any relatives who were potentially in harm’s way. We were just getting to the part I thought would be most relevant in coming days, given that, at that time, we had no idea what was coming up.   We spent the rest of the day discussing the first three habits mentioned in “Seven Habits,” – most importantly, Being Proactive and focusing on what we can control rather than what’s outside of our influence. No lie, it was a tough day – but it was intense and pivotal, even positive.

That night, we all went home or back to our hotel rooms and watched way too much TV.  But on Tuesday, all the participants showed up again.  I scrapped the agenda and we talked about how the participants could use those first three habits in their jobs, and in the larger MHMR community, during this crisis and in any potential crises to come.

I continued working with those participants for the next year or two. I’m not going to exaggerate that I changed lives and that the Dallas MHMR system is now well funded and running perfectly. But I did hear that whether or not people remembered the technicalities, they had a fundamentally positive experience on a day when most Americans felt no hope at all. I think that was because I was awake and engaged to the material in a new way due to the terrible circumstances. We connected as fellow beginners in a new and unpredictable world, rather than as trainer and learners.

The same concept can, and, I believe, should be applied when encouraging HR pros to consider trying on new tools like social recruiting and social marketing. We need to scrap the details of what we already know, and instead sit side by side with the people we’re teaching and begin with fresh minds. We should share our mistakes and the human side of our experience. When they see our wonder and excitement, they are more likely to respond with curiosity and confidence. If we fall prey to sleepily standing behind a podium and delivering slide after slide about how to use particular tools, nobody will care. They’ll walk away having learned only that we know something they don’t.

Social media is about connecting. We have to connect with participants, by making them feel our excitement and curiosity, if we expect them to explore these tools on their own.

HR Florida 2010 was alive with discussion of social media, as you most likely have heard by now. It was woven into almost every session and many sessions were dedicated solely to the topic. All members of the HR Florida leadership group are on Twitter. It was grand.

That said, I notice a burgeoning impatience with HR pros who aren’t hip to the social media and social recruiting scene. To this, I can only respond with a few cliches  from my family. Since nobody can stand more than one terrible cliche a day, I’ll spread this out over the weekend.

not really related, but I LOVE this picture anyway.

In my most sullen, snarky, and black-clad moments of high school, my dad always said,  (Cliche # 1:) “Franny, you can get more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.” I didn’t want to hear it at the time – after all, my impatience and self-righteousness were completely justified.  People really WERE stupid, or sexist, or unable to see the bigger picture. That hasn’t changed much, but in terms of approach, he was absolutely right.

If we want HR pros to use social media, let’s pay close attention to the social, build relationships, show respect, and make social media novices feel good about themselves. We have to spread a little honey on the dry dry toast of “tweets” and “wordpress” and “return on investment.”

I asked several HR Florida participants what their favorite sessions were, and two mentioned a session I thought was crap, but they loved — because while I was focused on the old slides and fearmongering, they were focused on the fact that the employment lawyer was “fun.” He made them laugh, lots.  On a more positive note, a couple also mentioned a session with Cathy Martin called “HR’s Role in Leading an Engaged Company.”  Martin put on a brilliant presentation breaking down some complex and consultant-ish looking organizational change slides into individual steps that each participant could understand. She used a fun Harley-Davidson case study to show participants that they can be change leaders in every aspect of their work. She was positive, warm, and praised participants at every turn for their smart answers and insights. Her authentic respect for the participants was palpable.

I’m not saying the message always has to be positive, but, in a conference environment, and in most aspects of organizational interactions, being smart is only half the equation. We also must sell what we want to do. And if we go into a conversation more concerned with how smart we appear than how we can help people who we genuinely respect, we aren’t going to sell anything.

I presented yesterday on smart and small HR. The participants were so committed to their field that they showed up at 9:00 on a Sunday morning, just to learn how to better manage their time, utilize the tools available to them, and prioritize. Most of the participants had full payroll, HR, and benefits responsibilities, for companies of around 200 staff. Many also had other responsibilities like billing or front desk. Frankly, their problems are not, to my mind, a training issue so much as an organizational structure and expectations issue. How in the world are these folks supposed to get a seat at the table when they’re setting the table, making the food, and clearing the table? We talked about saying No, managing expectations, prioritizing, and using free help – but honestly – if I left them with hope and tools, I fear it may be a false hope. If organizational leadership wants higher-leverage HR, they have to invest in it. And in that room, no one said a thing to cause me to believe that investment would happen any time soon.  I was honored to work with the participants, and I wish them well.

When I get this Slideshare widget installed,  I’ll share the resources I made as a followup.