I recently wrote a post at Women of HR entitled, “We’re All Bullies, Sometimes!” The post was picked up by Dan McCarthy for a Leadership Development Carnival – I’m excited to have the opportunity to share such great company. Check out Women of HR and some of the other writers at Dan’s Great Leadership blog if you’re looking for innovative thinking on leadership for and by both women and men!
Archive for category Uncategorized
Look! Over There!
Nov 7
On Being a Fan
Nov 4
I’m reading Keith Richard’s autobiography right now. I wouldn’t have expected the hard-partying lead guitarist for the Rolling Stones to be able to put a short story together, let alone 563 pages of detailed rememberances, but he (and most likely an exceptionally patient ghost-writer) sure did. And it costs $30 bucks at the airport book store.
Even though I’m not big on the Rolling Stones, this book is riveting. Keith Richards comes across as an amazed, affectionate, somewhat baffled witness to the birth of something Really Big – this giant mega phenomena of a band he found himself in. Richards almost never talks about himself. Instead, he spends entire chapters talking about his awe of American blues musicians, John Lennon, and Gram Parsons, pages discussing who taught him open tuning and how it changed the way the Stones sound forever, and paragraph upon paragraph explaining the history of a particular riff, the references to particular old blues or gospel songs and the like. This guy flat loves guitars and the rich history of all the other people who have also played them.
Yes, sometimes he can come off as a bit pedantic, Granpa Keef schooling the young-uns , but mostly his gratitude, sincere awe for those who played the guitar before and with him, and honest humbleness about his own skills really shine through. Keith Richards is unbelievably lucky to still be a fan, a true enthusiast. Given everything he’s seen and done, it’s amazing he hasn’t become a know-it-all and cynic, but at least in this book, not a bit of that comes through.
I think the people who are most successful in business and in life never lose their enthusiasm, that spark of innocent longing and awe. I myself am a huge fan of way too many HR thinkers, leaders, writers, and bloggers. I get a little nervous around them, I talk too much or not enough, I am too aware of my respect for their accomplishments and may make them a little uncomfortable with my fawning. But I’m cool with that little flaw, because hey! at least I’m feeling something. And introducing myself.
Keith Richards was said to have passed out (soberish) when he met Bo Diddley*. At least I’m not fainting at anyone’s feet. And by paying attention to what they’re doing, and trying to learn from them, I’m pushing myself to get better and better at my job. I’m not sure that this will lead to long afternoons smoking hash in Marakesh with Anita Pallenberg, but that’s probably all for the best.
*(or somebody like that, I’m too lazy to go get the book and look it up. But really, you should read it if you’re at all into the Stones. or the 60′s. or women. he talks a LOT about women, too, he’s a huge fan of them. I’ll send you my copy if you like, I’m pretty sure Keith Richards doesn’t need any more royalties.)
The Benefit of Benefits
Oct 25
Benefits are the least interesting part of my job, honestly. I don’t think they motivate or reward anyone, and I don’t think most people appreciate them except when they are really in need of them. But since I’m responsible for making sure our entire compensation package is competitive, and all of our biggest competitors offer good benefits, my life right now is all about vendor meetings, plan selections, plan communication offerings, and open enrollment process creation/revision and then of course, actual enrollment.
It’s not easy to compete when your company is literally 1/100th of the size of the companies going after your staff, but we do it, and generally win. Here’s how. We do things right. Every time someone talks about progressive policies, I laugh – my company already lives them. For instance:
- We don’t care where you work. All of our staff can work from wherever, whenever, provided that the quality of their work doesn’t suffer.
- We don’t care when you work. There’s no penalty for being “late to the office,” even as just a perception issue.
- We don’t care how you work – if someone wants to work as an IC, great, we’ll do that. Part time from home? No problem! Road warrior? We’re on it. And you keep the miles or tickets you’re double earning on the airline credit cards.
- We DO care that your work is impeccable and that you are building a fantastic reputation for yourself, and we want to have staff with personal brands bigger than our brand. We do everything we can to facilitate that.
- All salaries, all individual performance measures, and how every employee is doing against those measures, is public knowledge inside the company.
- We throw world-class parties. No, really. Like “take the company to Mexico as a surprise” parties. We foster fun, fulfillment, and friendship on every level, and HR doesn’t plan those parties – the staff do.
- Instead of planning parties, the HR department helps the company make money. I have revenue responsibilities directly related to finding great independent contractors and connecting them to work that our sales engineers may not have known they could fill internally.
Will benefits be a deal breaker for current staff? Nope, as long as I keep them somewhat in alignment with what our competitors are doing. Will a great company culture where people are valued for their work and their relationships, and are celebrated for just being themselves, authentically, help retain and engage folks? So far, so good. And the fact is, though benefits aren’t what keep them here, it’s worth it to make sure we’re taking every opportunity to show our appreciation for these hard working folks. Even if it means another bunch of lame powerpoints discussing deductibles, plan coverage, and Obamacare.
The HR Southwest 2010 conference has come and gone, smooth as can be. The speakers were professional and prepared, the record-breaking number of attendees seem to have all gotten their dance cards stamped by every vendor on the floor, and everyone was fed delicious meals efficiently. The conference ran, as many mentioned, “like a well-oiled machine.” Everyone did exactly what they were supposed to do – the participants, the volunteers, the organizers, the vendors, the caterers, and the presenters. 65% of the presenters were repeats, brought back because of their popularity the year before and their skill presenting.
Which leaves me personally a bit cold. I think magic happens when people screw up, speak authentically, go off script, bump into one another, and learn from it. I’m attracted to any group of authentically excited people pushing things forward, creating excitement, and generating buzz.
As someone who lives for the opportunity to try something new, I am often impatient with those who live life with a bit more planning and focus. I think that the stumbling, embarrassing, friendly-to-the-point-of-overbearing way that I interact is what everyone should want. Why do something the same way every year when you can try something new? Why be reserved and professional when you can speak from the heart?
I’m learning that there’s real value in control, in not messing up something that’s not broken, in keeping your game face on. While in Fort Worth, I ran into a couple of friends who attend HR Southwest every year. These two have had the same jobs for ten years. They contribute steadily to their company and rarely speak out of turn. They’re great. They’re totally needed in their organizations. They have dignity, integrity, and they are respected for their hard work. They may not be the most networked people in the world, but they know the names of every employee and have the ear of their CEO, because they rarely abuse it. They’re not on LinkedIn, or Facebook or Craigslist, they’re not using social media to recruit and they don’t care that it’s blocked at their work. They get the right applicants for their jobs using traditional job boards and they’re happy as can be. They rolled their eyes when I brought up social recruiting. And that was pretty much the response that most of the social media crew got when trying to make that connection with attendees.
What’s hard is finding common ground between those of us in HR who are more restless, excitable, focused on the future, and those who really are great at doing the real, day to day, steady work of impeccable HR. I think that common ground starts with respect. So let me state right here that I have the utmost respect for the organizers, volunteers, and attendees of HR Southwest. I appreciate that every HR department is shaped by the organization it serves, and that every conference is shaped to fit what the audience requests year to year. Thank God there are people who are awesome at putting one foot in front of the other, staying on the path, while people like me tumble from shiny object to shiny object. We need you to keep at it! Thank you for your diligence, discretion, and professionalism.
But you really should try LinkedIn. Really.
http://indierawk.tumblr.com/post/405851647/anatomy-of-a-hipster-162
HR Southwest has been a working vacation for me. I’m looking for vendors in particular arenas, and came here prepared to talk to, get quotes, and close some deals. ONE of the six vendors I’ve talked to was informed enough, focused enough, and ready to talk business. So we closed the deal. Everyone else wanted to do a short demo and sign me up for a later call, didn’t want to be so crass as to talk price, or didn’t ask enough questions to show me what I needed to see to get excited.
I know that most of the people who show up at regional HR shows just want their card stamped, at most, and don’t value interactions with vendors. Everyone knows that HR doesn’t write checks. And you’re tired, and it’s a long day, and your feet hurt, and you’re away from your families and “real work” doing something that doesn’t seem to matter much. And giving away 30-cent geegaws to people who are practically drooling over them can put you to sleep, just as a way to get through the day with any faith in humanity.
But when you have someone in front of you who does write the checks, wake up. Get out of Conference mode and make things happen. You might be glad you did.
Cadillac Dreams
Sep 13
(Note: this post is the third in a three -part series about getting HR Pros interested in social media.)
My great-grandfather and grandfather had a Cadillac car dealership in my oil-patch Texas hometown. Now, selling Cadillacs in Texas from 1935 to 1985 was almost too easy. But my granddad made it even simpler by always following this final cliche: “Sell the dream, not the details.” He meant that people who bought their first Cadillacs had dreamed of that day for their entire careers. It was their marker that they had arrived, that they were Somebody. When you focused on helping them fulfill that dream, the paperwork and payments were easy, inevitable, not even a bump in the road.
Convincing people to take a risk and invest some time into learning new technology is no different. People will do a lot of new things on their own, if we tap into their motivations. My grandmother finally got online when she saw that her sister had more current photos of her grandchildren than she did. My partner, who is notoriously tech-lazy, rapidly became the house expert on downloading videos when we got rid of HBO and a new season of “Dexter” started. Neither of them went through training on how to use AOL, in my grandmother’s case, or iTunes, in my wife’s case. Most online tools are designed to be as intuitive and newbie-friendly as possible, and learners with a driving goal will figure out any minor glitches along the way.
When attempting to get HR pros involved in social media, we’ll do better if we focus on the WHY than the HOW. For instance, I always emphasize that I got involved in social media back when it was bulletin boards and listserves because HR can be really lonely if you don’t reach out to other people in the same circumstances. I also talk about the personal and professional opportunities that my participation in social media has helped create. I never tell them how to get on Twitter or use an RSS feed until they ask.
People make decisions based on emotion, either on how they feel today or how they believe they’ll feel later. No matter how much we believe HR pros “need” social media, and how much we know it can help them and their companies, coming at them with statistics, how-to’s and smart-ass remarks will just turn them off. We have to connect, make them feel good, and then appeal to their personal dreams to make any progress. People don’t buy a V-8 engine and whitewall tires. They buy a dream, be it a Caddie or winning in their careers.
(Note: this post is the second on a three -part series about getting HR Pros interested in social media.)
Cliche # 2: “People may not remember what you say, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.”
So since everyone is sharing where they were on September 11, 2001, I’ll do the same. On that day, I was at a Hilton outside Dallas, Texas, beginning a week of management seminars for leaders in the local Mental Health and Mental Retardation system. I had taught this seminar way too many times and, frankly, was prepared for a week of boredom. We had just begun discussing, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” when pagers started buzzing and class members started drifting from the room. A couple of minutes later, we took a break and headed for the lobby TVs. Like so many, I watched as the second tower fell, surrounded by strangers who suddenly felt like friends.
I chose to reconvene the class, and press on. Dallas is a long, long way from the East Coast, and none of the participants had any relatives who were potentially in harm’s way. We were just getting to the part I thought would be most relevant in coming days, given that, at that time, we had no idea what was coming up. We spent the rest of the day discussing the first three habits mentioned in “Seven Habits,” – most importantly, Being Proactive and focusing on what we can control rather than what’s outside of our influence. No lie, it was a tough day – but it was intense and pivotal, even positive.
That night, we all went home or back to our hotel rooms and watched way too much TV. But on Tuesday, all the participants showed up again. I scrapped the agenda and we talked about how the participants could use those first three habits in their jobs, and in the larger MHMR community, during this crisis and in any potential crises to come.
I continued working with those participants for the next year or two. I’m not going to exaggerate that I changed lives and that the Dallas MHMR system is now well funded and running perfectly. But I did hear that whether or not people remembered the technicalities, they had a fundamentally positive experience on a day when most Americans felt no hope at all. I think that was because I was awake and engaged to the material in a new way due to the terrible circumstances. We connected as fellow beginners in a new and unpredictable world, rather than as trainer and learners.
The same concept can, and, I believe, should be applied when encouraging HR pros to consider trying on new tools like social recruiting and social marketing. We need to scrap the details of what we already know, and instead sit side by side with the people we’re teaching and begin with fresh minds. We should share our mistakes and the human side of our experience. When they see our wonder and excitement, they are more likely to respond with curiosity and confidence. If we fall prey to sleepily standing behind a podium and delivering slide after slide about how to use particular tools, nobody will care. They’ll walk away having learned only that we know something they don’t.
Social media is about connecting. We have to connect with participants, by making them feel our excitement and curiosity, if we expect them to explore these tools on their own.
Three Days of Cliches
Sep 10
HR Florida 2010 was alive with discussion of social media, as you most likely have heard by now. It was woven into almost every session and many sessions were dedicated solely to the topic. All members of the HR Florida leadership group are on Twitter. It was grand.
That said, I notice a burgeoning impatience with HR pros who aren’t hip to the social media and social recruiting scene. To this, I can only respond with a few cliches from my family. Since nobody can stand more than one terrible cliche a day, I’ll spread this out over the weekend.
not really related, but I LOVE this picture anyway.
In my most sullen, snarky, and black-clad moments of high school, my dad always said, (Cliche # 1:) “Franny, you can get more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.” I didn’t want to hear it at the time – after all, my impatience and self-righteousness were completely justified. People really WERE stupid, or sexist, or unable to see the bigger picture. That hasn’t changed much, but in terms of approach, he was absolutely right.
If we want HR pros to use social media, let’s pay close attention to the social, build relationships, show respect, and make social media novices feel good about themselves. We have to spread a little honey on the dry dry toast of “tweets” and “wordpress” and “return on investment.”
I asked several HR Florida participants what their favorite sessions were, and two mentioned a session I thought was crap, but they loved — because while I was focused on the old slides and fearmongering, they were focused on the fact that the employment lawyer was “fun.” He made them laugh, lots. On a more positive note, a couple also mentioned a session with Cathy Martin called “HR’s Role in Leading an Engaged Company.” Martin put on a brilliant presentation breaking down some complex and consultant-ish looking organizational change slides into individual steps that each participant could understand. She used a fun Harley-Davidson case study to show participants that they can be change leaders in every aspect of their work. She was positive, warm, and praised participants at every turn for their smart answers and insights. Her authentic respect for the participants was palpable.
I’m not saying the message always has to be positive, but, in a conference environment, and in most aspects of organizational interactions, being smart is only half the equation. We also must sell what we want to do. And if we go into a conversation more concerned with how smart we appear than how we can help people who we genuinely respect, we aren’t going to sell anything.
I presented yesterday on smart and small HR. The participants were so committed to their field that they showed up at 9:00 on a Sunday morning, just to learn how to better manage their time, utilize the tools available to them, and prioritize. Most of the participants had full payroll, HR, and benefits responsibilities, for companies of around 200 staff. Many also had other responsibilities like billing or front desk. Frankly, their problems are not, to my mind, a training issue so much as an organizational structure and expectations issue. How in the world are these folks supposed to get a seat at the table when they’re setting the table, making the food, and clearing the table? We talked about saying No, managing expectations, prioritizing, and using free help – but honestly – if I left them with hope and tools, I fear it may be a false hope. If organizational leadership wants higher-leverage HR, they have to invest in it. And in that room, no one said a thing to cause me to believe that investment would happen any time soon. I was honored to work with the participants, and I wish them well.
When I get this Slideshare widget installed, I’ll share the resources I made as a followup.
Family Day!
Jun 8
About three and a half years ago, I had a daughter. Though my wife is not biologically related to my daughter, in Texas, provided you jump through some slightly shady hoops, same-sex partners can adopt. We got that process started as soon as my daughter was born. Our life became a flurry of lawyers and check writing and social workers and lots of documentation, in addition to the diapers and sleeplessness usually associated with an infant. On June 8 of 2007, we stood in front of a family law judge in San Antonio Texas and my wife became a mom and my daughter suddenly had two parents.
In the next few months, I fell in love with my new family all over again. I was so proud of my partner, who stayed home full time with my child, and of course I was completely enamored of our baby. Since up to that point we’d been kind-of in the background, I was happily shocked by all the love, support, and encouragement shown by my family, friends, neighbors, and strangers at the grocery store.
As so often happens, once our daughter was born, our priorities changed. Before I had her, I was a traveling machine. I was on the GO, sometimes to two or three cities a week. After she was born, I tried – I really tried. We took her to New York for a work meeting two weeks after she was born, then my breastpump and I got back on the road. It was hard. I was failing at work and failing at home, or at least it felt that way. My wife was more than a little tired of being at home alone with our baby four nights a week, let alone all day every day.
We sat down, talked about what was most important, and agreed it was time to focus on our family. One way we knew to to that was to hit the reset button in all areas of our lives. So I quit a job I loved maybe too much and took a much less demanding job that allowed me to help out a lot more with our daughter.
We decided to celebrate our “reset” by surrounding ourselves with the friends and family who had been so supportive of us. We wanted to make a public commitment to take care of each other and ourselves a little better than we had been, and I wanted to tell my family and friends how excited I was to create my life together with my partner. We got married June 8 of 2008, surrounded by a small group of loving friends and family. My dad read 1st Corinthians, my mom read from The Velveteen Rabbit, my sister was the minister. There was cake. And tears. And gratitude, community, toasts, and some pretty big promises.
Being married takes work. Love is a verb. We create love every day, through our gratitude to one another, listening to each other, and being respectful of one another. By the time we got married, there were no endorphins chasing us to the altar. But we knew we wanted to create a family, and to recreate, support, and renew our family, for the rest of our lives. So we do! Family Day is a big deal around our house. We take cupcakes to school, thank our parents and in-laws for supporting our family both logistically and philosophically, and tell our story. This is a work blog, and it feels a little risky for me to put my story out here, but we want everyone to know how happy we are, and how we work to create happiness, every day. We think that’s what family is all about.
