There is nothing more boring than reading about other people’s dreams.

(Isn’t that how blog posts about dreams always start? And then you are treated to twenty paragraphs of prattle?)

I recently received the first of many annual SHRM renewal notices. I pay for my own SHRM membership, and every year I get a little angina and kvetch about the cost before sending the check in. This year, in addition to some heartburn, I had one hell of a dream* about SHRM.

In the dream, we were all at a conference being held at SHRM headquarters, which were once really nice but now had missing windows on the top stories, lick-and-stick granite coming off the facade, and no power. The doors to the stairs were jammed shut. As a result, the convention was being held in and around bleachers in the parking lot.

And it turned out that the convention, y’all, was actually a corporate cheer leading competition. (I know, right?)

There were four types of people in attendance:

  • Earnest, hard working, happy types who were folding laundry and picking up trash and peer pressuring all their neighbors to cheer along.
  • Good timers who were just there to have fun and didn’t care that they couldn’t hear or see anything. The bleachers fell apart and they brushed themselves off, laughed, and went to get another free drink.
  • Vendors who kept everyone well lubricated from the flasks they passed out behind the stands and slipped their cards in all the purses sitting at people’s feet on the bleachers.
  • Consultants and commentators who used to occupy those top-floor offices back when they were really posh but don’t care much about them now. Mostly concerned with the media and camera time.

In the background, looking frazzled but chipper, China Gorman was working diligently with a lone home renovation contractor to get the power up and running again.

And basically that was it. This weird little vignette stuck in my brain so vividly, though, I felt I had to share it with you.

I don’t know where SHRM is headed, and I don’t know were the HR profession is headed, but I don’t think it would be a bad thing for us to stay locked out of the building while it undergoes repairs. We could all use the fresh air and some time to think past our personal agendas.  Myself included.  I’ll pay my dues again this year, for China and whoever else is helping her get the power back on at SHRM.  I’ll also do what I can to support in a more hands-on way.

As long as the cheer leaders shut up.

Fortune 500 Go! Go! Go!

*My brother’s 40th was the night before this dream. I ate way too many boudain sausage and bacon-wrapped doves, and drank quite a lot of red wine. We had also watched Bring It On in the previous couple of days. So it wasn’t so crazy that all this came together in my hungover head.