Don’t Try This At Home
Jul 28
Houston ERE Meetups!
Jul 25
Last month, I hosted Houston’s first ERE Meetup. After a few tense moments when I thought I’d be left alone at Block Seven Wine Company to read my Angelina-cover Vanity Fair Magazine with a bottle of wine and some truffle popcorn all to myself (ok – not SO tense,) several interesting and interested HR and recruiting folks from across Houston started popping over to say hello. We had recruiters from the hospital industry, the temp industry, and the refining industry there. We also had a couple of folks without jobs who are staying positive while on the hunt.
The conversation was authentic, lively, and engaging. We had laughs, we told the truth about how things are going, and we engaged far beyond the usual stiff ”elevator speeches” often found at networking events.
I was thrilled. I’ve been looking for a community of smarty-pants HR pros in Houston, people who want the best for their organizations and aren’t afraid to take risks to make things happen. HRQ occasionally holds evening meetings that are focused on conversation rather than Powerpoint slides, and I’m sure there are other private group meetings as well. But this group just fits me. (Plus, since it was open, I was invited!)
We’re meeting again August 17th. Click here to sign up, or if you’re not from Houston, click through to sign up for the ERE meetup in your town. You won’t be sorry!
For Shame.
Jul 23
You may remember that earlier last year I featured Laurie-Ellen Shumaker in my series on great people who need to get back to work. Laurie-Ellen was recently also featured at the Huffington Post in a series on the unemployed in America. This brief article part of their “Bearing Witness” project designed to highlight the effects of this recession on real families.
The story was fine. The comments were mostly ignorant, judgemental, and angry. For example, a user who defames a Texan great lady with the username LadyBirdJohnson wrote, “…Your story does not add up and is full of self pity and drama. Most of the time when people have trouble they only need to look at themselves to blame. Maybe you should be asking what role you played in this mess you find yourself? Actually, your story sounds as make believe as your unicorn.” Self-righteous comments like this go on for 26 pages, thus far.
Brene Brown, A Houston-based researcher, studies shame for a living. (I know, right? Talk about a Dirty Job) This talk she gave at the UP Experience summarizes her work beautifully. Go watch it. It takes 25 minutes. I’ll wait.
Back so soon? Isn’t her work challenging and intriguing?
Brown notes that we most severely judge others in areas that we ourselves feel insecure. We do everything we can to create a wall between ourselves and those we see as failing or less than ourselves. As the economy continues to lag and jobs remain in scarce supply, the self-righteousness level of our coworkers, family members, and friends may continue to ratchet up. The comments in the HuffPo story are a perfect example of that phenomenon.
My great-grandmother, Francelia Crittenden, was a force of nature. She lost her husband in the Great War, and raised her two sons on her own by working as a business organizer and community activist. She died, at the age of 103, in an old folks home she helped found. Gran had two sayings that have always stuck with me: “The only sin is not using the talents God gave you to make the world a better place,” and “You are how you spend your time.” She stayed busy until the very end, walking the halls of the home, “offering suggestions” in her gracious but firm way. I often fail her model, but she’s always on my mind.
In the last six days at work I’ve:
- Placed job postings at 45 universities
- Processed 120+ resumes for three positions using only Outlook and my good judgement
- Performed 30+ phone screens
- Set up eight face to face interviews
- Participated in three face to face interviews
- Checked references on five candidates
- Made four job offers
- Set up a rule in Outlook which sent 95 “no thanks” responses to resume submittals
- Processed a couple of employee exits
- Talked to our company employment lawyers three times (all good things, thankfully) and our tax accountant once
- Worked through some 401(k) issues and checked references on a couple of potential new vendors
- Worked with employees on performance issues and opportunities
- Talked company execs and a few staffers into seeing eye-to-eye on various cultural or retention matters
- Analyzed compensation and performance metrics across the company and recommended a couple dozen compensation adjustments
- Improved the hiring process to allow all new hires to be more effective from day one of employment
- Made recommendations regarding operational effectiveness opportunities
- Celebrated my partner’s birthday
- Moved from a Blackberry to an iPhone, with lots of “training time” on my part – aka “Angry Birds” and “Words with Friends”
- Hosted the first Houston ERE meetup
- Started a conversation about an oil and gas/petroleum industry-specific recruiter’s group
- Provided a couple of quotes for a local paper regarding business uses of social media
- Cleaned out my garage to give my crib and some of my daughter’s infant stuff to some friends
- Took my daughter to four birthday parties, including buying and wrapping the presents and wrapping my daughter’s brain around the fact that the presents aren’t for her
- Hosted a neighbor for swimming and dinner
- Reconnected with some online friends over the phone
- Unexpectedly babysat another neighbor’s child when the neighbor had to run to the hospital to check on her dad
- Had an intense but productive conversation with the principle at my daughter’s school
- Read most of two books – “The Upside of Irrationality,” and “I Thought it Was Just Me“
- Read 160 postings regarding business, HR, economics, and just flat interior design eye candy, (according to my RSS feed)
- Made a tiny nod to my health by sleeping 8 hours a night and attending a weekly yoga class
- All while acting as the primary caregiver to my little stinkbomb, since my partner is working nights and sleeping days this month.
Family Day!
Jun 8
About three and a half years ago, I had a daughter. Though my wife is not biologically related to my daughter, in Texas, provided you jump through some slightly shady hoops, same-sex partners can adopt. We got that process started as soon as my daughter was born. Our life became a flurry of lawyers and check writing and social workers and lots of documentation, in addition to the diapers and sleeplessness usually associated with an infant. On June 8 of 2007, we stood in front of a family law judge in San Antonio Texas and my wife became a mom and my daughter suddenly had two parents.
In the next few months, I fell in love with my new family all over again. I was so proud of my partner, who stayed home full time with my child, and of course I was completely enamored of our baby. Since up to that point we’d been kind-of in the background, I was happily shocked by all the love, support, and encouragement shown by my family, friends, neighbors, and strangers at the grocery store.
As so often happens, once our daughter was born, our priorities changed. Before I had her, I was a traveling machine. I was on the GO, sometimes to two or three cities a week. After she was born, I tried – I really tried. We took her to New York for a work meeting two weeks after she was born, then my breastpump and I got back on the road. It was hard. I was failing at work and failing at home, or at least it felt that way. My wife was more than a little tired of being at home alone with our baby four nights a week, let alone all day every day.
We sat down, talked about what was most important, and agreed it was time to focus on our family. One way we knew to to that was to hit the reset button in all areas of our lives. So I quit a job I loved maybe too much and took a much less demanding job that allowed me to help out a lot more with our daughter.
We decided to celebrate our “reset” by surrounding ourselves with the friends and family who had been so supportive of us. We wanted to make a public commitment to take care of each other and ourselves a little better than we had been, and I wanted to tell my family and friends how excited I was to create my life together with my partner. We got married June 8 of 2008, surrounded by a small group of loving friends and family. My dad read 1st Corinthians, my mom read from The Velveteen Rabbit, my sister was the minister. There was cake. And tears. And gratitude, community, toasts, and some pretty big promises.
Being married takes work. Love is a verb. We create love every day, through our gratitude to one another, listening to each other, and being respectful of one another. By the time we got married, there were no endorphins chasing us to the altar. But we knew we wanted to create a family, and to recreate, support, and renew our family, for the rest of our lives. So we do! Family Day is a big deal around our house. We take cupcakes to school, thank our parents and in-laws for supporting our family both logistically and philosophically, and tell our story. This is a work blog, and it feels a little risky for me to put my story out here, but we want everyone to know how happy we are, and how we work to create happiness, every day. We think that’s what family is all about.
If you’re attending SHRM 2010, don’t waste your time, or your dime.
Use this opportunity to learn something new, make new connections, land that next gig, get those new clients – whatever is truly on your mind as your Next Big Step. With a conference this big, attracting so many HR Pros and business leaders, you have the perfect opportunity to do what you want. But don’t show up, expect to be spoon-fed training, and leave. That would be a big waste.
I once landed my dream job at a National SHRM conference. I was working in a small town, disconnected from other opportunities, and I knew I wanted a bigger platform to do my thing. So since the SHRM National conference was being held nearby, I set my sights high. I decided I was going to walk out of the conference with at least three funny stories, fifteen new friends, two major job leads, and thirty-five non-vendor-related business cards. I asked a friend, who wasn’t attending, to help me keep score every morning – and I went to work. Here’s how I did it.
- I spent time on the SHRM bulletin boards before the conference, getting to know some people and arranging for a meetup or two.
- I went alone, so no one could bust my momentum or distract me from my goal.
- I came up with a loose elevator speech explaining what I’d done up to that point, what I was looking to do, and my goals for the conference. This was important – it helped get strangers at the conference “on my team” and they introduced me to lots of their friends and invited me to parties.
- I made myself show up. I went to every party, every luncheon, every large class I heard of. I also, frankly, crashed a party or two – sorry SHRM Best Small Companies partygoers, that was me with the lampshade on my head.
- I applied for jobs through the SHRM on-site job board, and asked to meet with company interviewers during the conference. This is actually what did it for me. I was in the computer room and saw that Dream Job had JUST been posted. I quickly shot an email out outlining why I was The One and asking to visit immediately. The recruiter, Shannon Maroney of HR Backbone, introduced herself, and we talked right there! We immediately clicked, and over the course of the next couple of days, she and I got to know each other much better. I told her about my goals for the SHRM conference and we attended a couple of the same parties. On the last day of the conference, I took her to lunch and to the airport. By the time she introduced me to her client, she was comfortable selling me as the best possible match to Dream Company’s CEO.
I know SHRM National is about more than networking. The seminars are great and you can learn a great deal just by listening. But if you are one of the attendees who goes to every seminar, takes notes, and then watches bad cable in your hotel room all night, you are REALLY missing out. There’s no reward for being a wallflower. You don’t need to be me, totally goal-focused and intent, but you do need to stretch yourself. HR is an isolating and often depressing job. Use this time to make some new friends and have a laugh or two. If you don’t, you may be wasting your time.
The news of China Gorman’s departure from SHRM cast a bit of a pall on the HREvolution 2010 event a couple of weeks ago.
Someone said they felt hopeless. I myself felt discouraged and let down. I don’t really care much about social media, except as a way to connect with people who practice the kind of progressive, candid, risk-friendly HR I wasn’t seeing at SHRM events. Speaking plainly, I think local SHRM chapters are often cliquish, conservative, behind the times, useless to those with more than five years of experience, and a little greedy. I think they get the tacit nod toward these behaviors from SHRM National. When China, who went from SHRM COO to interim CEO to Global Outreach Something Or Another, chose to resign, I took it as a sign that SHRM would never “get it,” and my last hopes regarding the organization’s direction went up in smoke. I felt that momentum that had been building towards change in SHRM had taken a big step backward.
I was wrong. Not necessarily about SHRM, but about the pedestal I put China on. It’s a little like the difference between the Obama campaign and his administration. We’re learning in lots of different ways that no one person can make things much better on their own. Barack Obama, China Gorman, our CEOs, all need US to create and sustain momentum and leadership. They can’t do it alone. Asking them to do so and then being disappointed when they can’t deliver is a complete cop-out, and creates a dangerous level of apathy. I think people want to be lead. But we decline responsibility for our own role as leaders at the expense of our families, neighborhoods, workplaces, associations and even country. We have to do the work ourselves.
My friend Victorio Milian asked his readers to put up or shut up, to help create bright spots of positive change within our own spheres of influence. So, Victorio, here’s what I’m doing about it.
- I’m developing and leading a class on creating efficiencies in a one-person HR shop. The workshop will be held at HRFlorida 2010 and, afterward, I’ll post a series of articles on the subject. (This has recently been approved for three HRCI strategic recertification hours, so come on along!)
- I’m using four vacation days to present at and blog about HRFlorida.
- I’m using another three vacation days to blog about HRSouthwest.
- I contacted HRHouston about helping them get their 2011 Gulf Coast Symposium plugged in to the online world. (I’ve got to comment here – the first thing they wanted me to do was join for $275 to get the pleasure of helping them. I can’t say I’m excited about this particular opportunity.)
- At each regional or local SHRM chapter that I touch, I’m going to host open hours for anyone who wants to learn more about how to connect with the smart and business-savvy HR community that populates twitter, the blogging world, ERE, and the like. I don’t think that everyone has to blog and tweet and involve themselves with social media, but all HR pros need to know how to readily source interesting business ideas and next-level HR thinking.
- I think I’m not going to rejoin SHRM National this year. I don’t really think it matters to them, but I just can’t believe that it’s worth any more investment. I’ve paid into SHRM National for ten years. That’s enough.
China, I’m going to miss you at SHRM National, no way around it. But I do apologize for turning you into a two-dimensional Joan of Arc character, and for not stepping up to the plate earlier. I’ll help create bright spots within local SHRM chapters and within the HR field. Thank you for your perseverance and your leadership. And thanks for helping remind us that we’re all capable of leading, if we choose to take it on.
A friend, let’s call him Ralph, recently lost his job. He was really upset because he doesn’t have a degree and he knows how hard it will be to get to the same type of job without one. Around the same time, another friend in my network called looking for someone with basically the same unique skill set and background that Ralph had. Miraculously, a degree was not required. I hooked them up, just like a good little node in the social world wide web is supposed to do.
I followed along as Ralph breathlessly proclaimed his excitement at every step on the weeks-long interview ladder. He just knew it was the right job for him, and he couldn’t wait to get started.
Until they asked for his 2009 W2.
And he said, “No.”
So they said, “No.”
And now Ralph is sitting in his apartment watching Oprah rather than doing great things for this company.
Who’s in the wrong here? I dunno.
But if you’re a job seeker looking for career advice, here it is: Don’t expect that every aspect of the hiring process will be respectful of your privacy. (We share a bathroom with a company that has all applicants do drug tests on the spot, whether it’s a call center or CFO job opening. Dignity and privacy are not high on the descriptor list for that process.)
If you’re an HR department looking for recruiting advice, here it is: Explain the entire hiring process, including that you will be asking for W2s or making them pee into a cup, if that’s what you do, in the first interview. You can save yourself a lot of time and heartache by being upfront about your expectations from the very beginning.
If, like me, you’re just a cog in the networking machine, keep trying. You never know what can come from introducing people to one another. If something works out, great. If it doesn’t, you can all still learn something new.
HREvolution posts have come and gone. Now that I’m on vacation, I can finally organize just a few thoughts.
I love seeing people in real life. Context is everything, and when I see people who are kicking ass and taking names in action, it makes me stronger and more committed to my own goals. Some people just exude intentionality, and being around them makes me much more focused. Just a few examples
- All the volunteer leaders of HREvolution, keeping their word, getting down into the details, and making stuff happen in order to pull off an impeccable event. You know who they are. And how awesome they are.
- Sarah White moving from Bright Idea to Execution in the space of ten minutes. During the discussion of HRIS advisory services for small companies, it became clear to Sarah that there was a market opening that she was uniquely qualified to fill. A few pecks on her iphone later, and she owned her new URL. She hosted planning meetings that day. I have no doubt Sarah will take this idea all the way.
- Amanda Hite and her posse move through a room like lions on the hunt. Amanda is literally a self-made woman, and she knows how to work for what she wants. Amanda owned the responsibilities of micro-celebrity, never forgetting to treat each of her “fan-friends” to her full attention. She truly gets that she’s onstage at events like this, and that each interaction matters. I know she must have been exhausted by the time she got home, but her energy never flagged in front of others.
I thought a lot about personal responsibility at this event. The lack of structure of an unconference is a perfect fit for me. I loved being responsible for getting what I needed out of the conference, rather than just being force-fed slide after slide of data and opinion. It was great to get to ask people directly about how they’re getting things done, what they’re thinking about at work these days, and what they’d like to create next. It made the conference much more work, but much more useful, than those meetings where one person does all the talking and the folks with great input sit there taking notes. If you don’t like talking to new people, or you don’t have the discipline to make things happen for yourself, there are always more traditionally structured meetings or conferences to keep you up to date.
Thanks to everyone who participated in HREvolution, at whatever level, and whatever your goals were. I learned something from each of you, and I hope you got more out of it than you put in, as another attendee observed.
Kimberly Roden is a senior level HR generalist with 20 years of experience. Kimberly is looking for a new opportunity – it doesn’t necessarily need to be a full blown HR generalist role – it just needs to be a role that can solve problems and work with humans. Kimberly will be on HR Happy Hour on Thursday April 8 talking about best practices when you’re a one-person HR shop.
Kimberly, tell us a little about your favorite job you’ve ever had.
The best position I ever had was with an entrepreneurial organization called AND1. It was a young company that moved fast. There weren’t formal training programs; it was a “sink or swim” environment. Everyone who was hired knew what they were hired for and what the mission was: “To be the #1 Basketball Company in the World.” It was defined every single day from the attitudes of the team and the leaders. The down side to that is that I have no hard metrics of my work (in print) on my resume because we were too busy!
It did come with challenges – due to the lack of real life corporate experience from the employees as well as some of the leadership. For many of the employees, it was their first job out of school. It made it great for them but not so great because it wasn’t the real world. You can’t have a “first job” like that and not have high expectations of Corporate America. <sigh> As for me, I knew it was Nirvana and enjoyed every minute of it. The company sold and I’ve never been the same. I even took a break from Corporate America and started my own pet sitting & dog walking gig for a few years. I was grieving.
When we spoke, I loved that you had so many examples of real-life experience that you can only get with front-line HR. Can you tell us a few of your most vivid work experiences?
Oh wow… there are so many, really. HRCI, eat your heart out… you can’t teach this stuff in a book! A few of the ones that really stand out throughout the years are when I administered CPR for what was thought to be a potential drug overdose or drug reaction by an employee. Another early morning, I walked into a senior executive’s office only to find him and his “date” sleeping under his desk – from the previous night. By far, the most memorable one was being in a termination meeting and during the explanation of the termination, the distraught employee pulled out a firearm. Yes, I AM employee relations!
I also really liked that you are much more focused on doing the work than on theory. Tell us a little about that.
I’m a real person. I don’t hide behind fancy words or consultant-speak. I can walk the walk and do it professionally. I’m an uber-professional! I get along with everyone but I’m not loud about it – I have a saying that I believe in, “You don’t have to explain what others can see for themselves.” You see it’s all about what folks observe when they’re watching you work – how you work and how you treat others. What managers and leaders don’t get is that you can’t preach the way you want others to be treated and then not do it yourself. People aren’t stupid, they don’t miss that. But, it happens every single day and no one tells them.
If you want to talk about employee engagement and why it isn’t happening, start at the top. The real challenge is TELLING the person at the top that they’re the problem. That rarely occurs, so the cycle continues. So for the folks who call themselves experts, gurus, ninjas and whatever other term du jour they call themselves – you can analyze until the cows come home but action is the only thing that makes change. I know change – it’s the only thing that stays the same.
You are on Twitter and Facebook and you have a pretty thorough LinkedIn presence. Has any of that helped you with your search?
I’ve met some great recruiters on Twitter and have learned a lot. LinkedIn has been the strongest source of job leads – the posted jobs. I’m getting the feeling that recruiters are under a lot of pressure and they’re busy. Yea, that’s it – it must be. I’ve had phone screens by at least a dozen recruiters for real positions. The problem is after the screen, they fall off the planet.
Locally, what has been the best source of leads for your search?
I belong to an HR networking group in Princeton, NJ. There are requirements to belong in that group and one of them is that the members must have at least 10 years of experience. So, when we share leads, they’re good ones. Some of them may be redundant since we’re located in the same geographical area, but still good leads.
What have you learned during this search that you might use when you get back to work?
Well, it has really reinforced how I will continue to treat humans and how I will continue to practice empathy – in every way. It’s no secret that being in a job search and being “in transition” is stressful. Empathy is a powerful trait that many professionals don’t have. Recently, I’m convinced that not everyone is even capable of being empathic. It’s not wrong, just different. When you have empathy, you don’t judge and you don’t pity – you understand. When you have that ability, you can be far more useful to every human being you come across in life.
Anything else you’d care to share?
Yes, actually! As I mentioned, I’ve had my share of phone interviews during my search. Of the two face to face interviews I had, one resulted in an offer to which I turned down for many reasons. The other would have been an offer but the job level was restructured to a junior level position due to budget restraints. It is difficult to “shine” over the phone and I’m not an online “rock star.” When you meet me, you’ll love me!
